The Dreaded Twelve & Twelve

My shelf 'o recovery.

Well, I really did it this time. My sponsor has apparently decided that if I am suicidally depressed, then it must be time to reread the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. That seems to be Nici's recourse in times of doubt. I think there must be something to it because I am still - sober! Just fair warning for readers, there will be a lot of discussion of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in coming days. I kind of like having the ability to do my homework and post it here. Besides which, some people seem to find it helpful. They stop by and read and must say to themselves

Man, if this asshole can stay sober, I certainly can! He even has the wrong God and he's still sober. Maybe there is something to working these steps after all.

There is a reason I am depressed and angry today: I am watching a good friend die of cancer and I am powerless to prevent it. I hate it, I have only known him for two and half years and that is simply not enough, not at all. It's unfair, it sucks and there is not a goddamn thing I can do about it except to visit him and get in as much time with him as I can. I realized that I had not seen him in almost two weeks, until last night for Winter Solstice/Yule. See, I let the unimportant things, work, bills, cleaning get in the way of the important things. I have to make time for the important things and somehow I lost sight of that for a while.

Good Morning Goddess Brigit, my name is Andy, I am an alcoholic. I have been kept sober since Imbolc of 2001 by Your grace and Your grace alone. I'd like to take this moment to thank You, my Higher Power for this daily reprieve. Today is a good day to be sober. Thank You, Blessed Be.