Letting Go, Getting Priorities Straight

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You have noticed that everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round . . . The Sky is round, and I have heard that the Earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours . . . Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.
~Black Elk, Ogalala Sioux Holy Man

Have you ever been expecting bad news, been bracing yourself for it and then it comes and is simply overwhelming?

I have a friend going to Summerland/Otherworld/Heavan/Afterlife—whatever you want to call it—soon.

Life is process of learning and letting go. Christian author M. Scott Peck is the one who says that life is a process of letting go. He talks about how, as we age, we go through a continual process of loss. We lose our youth, our vigor and strength, for most of us our eyesight and hearing are impacted. Our sexual drive fades and our fertility goes (although someone might need to mention that to Tony Curtis). Our parents age, we care for then finally and then they die. Our children pass from childhood into adulthood leaving the intimacy of their immediate family. They form their own intimate family.

We finally lose our health, many of us the ability to care for ourselves, and then we leave this world.

So, I think M. Scott Peck has a point. We get to learn to lose everything, for nothing in this world lasts. Everything changes.

It is easy to get caught up in things like career, money, sex, and other transient things such as fame. When I am worried about how to pay the deductible on my medical insurance things like spirituality, closeness to the Creator and silent meditation seem stupid and pointless. In fact, I have it back word. Worrying about the deductible is stupid and pointless. In fact, the deductible itself is stupid and pointless.

I have spent a fair amount of time fretting over this election. That is time wasted. No matter who wins, the real question will be am I close to the Divine? Time spent working on the campaign is not time wasted, for that is a part of what I believe is my service to mankind. Time spent worrying is wasted. Letting go of that worry is hard, in some ways I was raised to worry about things. Nonetheless, it is pointless and wasteful.

Time spent simply living is time well spent. Time spent with family and friends in love and enjoyment is time well spent. Time spent in gratitude is time well spent. Time spent arguing is wasted. Time spent in discord is time wasted. The choice is mine. No one but me will make me do either.

I need to take more time to see the stars. I need to make more time to hold Laura’s hand. It is important that I find time to throw squeaky toys for the dogs.

I need to get rid of my aquariums. I don’t enjoy them anymore and they take up my time in a negative way. I may keep one, but that will be it.

I need to simplify my life.

My friend who is dying, I am not ready to give him up. I love him tremendously. I don’t know if he knows it, but he has, in many ways, become my mentor. It enriches me just to know him. Now, I have to learn to let go of him. Not by hiding from him because his illness frightens me, but by being close to him. I have been given the gift of his friendship and I won’t squander that gift.

I hope he lives long enough to see my child born.

The circle of his life is closing. The circle of my child’s has just started to be drawn. I am somewhere at at intersection of the two circles and each circle blesses me with unique energy. I hope I am, in turn, blessing them.

Goddess, I am so grateful to be here, to be alive, to be sober, to be married today, I can’t express it very well at all. I am simply thankful to be me today and will try to be the best me I can be, just for today. If this is all I am to be given, it is so much more than enough. Your bounty fills me. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. Blessed Be.