Monday, May 30, 2005

Memorial Day Suggestions For Conservatives

1. If you are under 40, join any of the following:
  • United States Army
  • United States Navy
  • United States Air Force
  • United States Marine Corps
    Notice: these links will allow you to join the reserves of each force as well.

    Important note: conservatives who are veterans are exempt from this suggestion. You have already served your country and I salute you for it.

    To the rest of you conservatives out there; in case you have not noticed, your pet war is not going well. In addition, not one branch of our military is making current recruitment goals. Since you agitated for this war, since you demanded this war, since you helped propagate the lies that led to this war - if you don't put your money where your mouth is and do your patriotic duty and join our armed forces to serve in this war - your war - then you are nothing more than a piece of shit coward, a chickenhawk and a weasel. You send other people to die in your place and that makes you the lowest of the low.

    So what happens if you join the armed forces? That makes you a person of integrity, with the courage of your convictions, deserving of respect and attention. If you join, let me know and I'll create a section titled True Americans and hotlink to your blog under it. I'll make it a point to read what you say too; I might learn from you.

    How about me you ask? Well, that is a fair question because, you see, I initially and reluctantly thought the war might be a necessary evil. I never supported the war; but I did say more than once to my wife well, if he has those weapons of mass destruction, if he really is a threat, then maybe we do have to do this...Bush is our president, we should give him the benefit of the doubt. No, I am not shitting you, I actually said those things. Laura should have divorced me right then. I think I have the blood of American soldiers on my hands as well because of that. I really believe that. I should have trusted my gut and not believed a serial liar and spoken our against this truly evil and unnecessary war. My amends to my nation is to work as hard as I can to win it back from the monsters and criminals who currently run it.

    2. Another thing you can do is to go to Faces of the Fallen. Start at the beginning or the end, it doesn't matter. Prayers are appropriate as you go through the faces. But that is not my suggestion. My suggestion is that for each face you imagine two grieving parents; parents who have had to bury their child. Maybe a brother or a sister. Possibly a wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend. Maybe even children growing up without a father or mother. Try to imagine life through their eyes. Do this for 1646 people and think about the cheap patriotism that led you to support a unjust war under false pretenses. You don't have to do this all in one sitting. I visit about once every two weeks to say prayers; my heart can't bear much more than that.

    You'll notice that a disproportionate number of faces are black or brown. Possibly, like me, you will be slightly shocked at the number of women represented. Remember, some of these people were not even citizens of the United States when they died wearing a uniform of our armed services. These are our heroes. Many of them come from poor families because the military is one of the few ways a poor person can better themselves in education and in learning skills to get ahead. The military is one of the last bastions of affirmative action left and proof that it worked.

    3. Today is the day we remember American servicemen killed in action. Fighting because freedom is not free. But let me leave you with a parting suggestion: look at the photo below and think about the U.S. soldiers who killed this girl's parents. No, I am not a liberal who would suggest that they did wrong. They soldiers were manning a checkpoint, the vehicle was speeding towards them, they signaled the vehicle to stop and it did not stop. Our soldiers did nothing wrong. They did what soldiers have to do if they want to live.

    Nonetheless, don't you think the soldiers of that unit might be waking up in the middle of the night twenty years from now with that girl's face in their mind?

    Now, my conservative friends, I don't think any of you will actually do any of these things. You'll break out a cold beer while sitting on your porch with the sizzling steaks on the BBQ and hold forth eloquently on the hard work being done by our soldiers overseas. A true America patriot.

    You know what Mark Twain defined a patriot as, don't you? The person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. Now, have yourself a happy little Memorial Day.
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