What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

Follow Your Bliss.

That is the advice that Joeseph Campbell had for viewers of the PBS series, The Power of Myth. What should you do with your life? Follow Your Bliss.

Great. I have not a fucking clue what my bliss is. My interpretation of his words is that we should do what we enjoy and what calls to us. Let's see, where to start: writing, school, becoming a pastor/minister, becoming a counselor, anything except what I am doing now.

I am almost thirty-six years old and I really don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I really don't. It seems to me that in a matter of months, the scope of my world is going to narrow dramatically, and I will no longer have the luxury of trying to find my bliss. My job will become helping a youngster find theirs. I find that I already resent that child for the time s/he will take away from my trying to figure out who I am and what I want to be.

I am not comfortable with the idea that I am resentful of my child before the child is even born. That's not exactly how I wanted to be feeling about my baby. Still, it's not exactly news that I am selfish.

Goals for the day: Stay sober. Probably won't make a meeting because I am going to try to leave work early to visit the daycare center at Laura's workplace. Read Step Two from Twelve and Twelve. Obedience Class (for the dogs, not me).

Nothing more to say.

Goddess Brigit, I invite you into my life today. I ask you to help me stay sober and guide me that I may be of service to others. Thank You, Blessed Be.