Saturday, November 27, 2004

The TRUE Spirit Of The Holidays

(c) Andy Ternay
  • Saw Bad Santa, the uncut version last night. That was funny. That was foul. I very much enjoyed it. Good way to start the holiday season.

    Its kind of hard to think of anything spiritual to follow that movie though.

    I don't think I am going to participate in the whole Christmas lie with my kid though. First, it isn't my faith. Second, someday the child will learn that Santa isn't real and know dad is a liar. Third, it's a nasty, commercial, crappy holiday nowadays. I spend a month dreading it because stores, roads and restaurants are jammed with people with only one thing in common: They are all pissed off. I'm not sure why they are so pissed off , but they are all pissed off.

    The stores are chock full of angry people. They cut in front of you at the register line and glare at you as though you have done something wrong. When you say to them: "Hey, I was in line!" they get indignant. Nobody holds the door for anybody, no matter how many packages the other person might have.

    This is also the one time of year that I regret that I don't take advantage of Texas's concealed carry handgun law. Because let me tell you, hunting for a goddamn parking spot without a handgun definately puts you at a disadvantage. Laura and I are suffering a further setback this year. For once, we will be driving a car we care about. Over the past several years we have driven the blue Plymouth Sundance.

    (c) Andy Ternay

  • They see that ugly thing bearing down on their Lexus at high speed with peeling paint, dented doors and they realize that we have nothing to lose. They yield. Except H2's. Those bastards don't yield for anybody.

    Straight up, H2 drivers are assholes. I have asked my sponsor if I would have to make amends for keying every H2 I see. She was pretty sure I would have to, but they are such enormous assholes that she checked with her sponsor to see if there was any exception for those jerks in the AA program. Sadly, there is no exception so I will not be keying H2's and I had to write about my resentent towards these truly dangerous jerks.

    What happened to the Christ part of Christmas? We live in a deeply sick world and could use a messenger of peace nowadays. Instead, we get a Christ of Commerce: shut up and buy, buy, buy. Be careful of this crass commercial christ. He can kill you.

    Enough with the scrooge in me. Christmas may be publically dead as a spiritual holiday, but in the living rooms and hearts of families it still lives. In the smile on a child's face, in the quick hugs after a special present is opened. Because the true Christmas message is worth keeping.