Monday, June 28, 2004

The concept of a loving deity versus a hateful deity

I have to wonder what sort of god would allow and encourage his followers to hack off the heads of their “enemies.” I have to put enemies in quotations because aside from the US Marine they now hold (Goddess be with him and his family) these murderers have killed only civilians who might have helped rebuild Iraq. Of course, rebuilding Iraq does not help terrorists. They get recruits when things are in chaos.

What is it like to serve a god who is that hateful, that brutal? You must live in a state of constant fear of god. Here you are, ready to serve god, and there you go, living a life of fear that if you are not good enough, not pure enough, not loyal enough, god will punish you and your family and people. That must be a pretty miserable existence.

I guess that is why they always tell you that paradise comes after you die.

I am grateful that I can have an experience of “the kingdom of heaven” right here and right now on this earth. My faith allows me to experience Divinity whenever I am willing.

When there is talk about Heaven and an afterlife my faith gets confusing. I don’t think the pagan theology has really matured into a coherent doctrine in this area, and that may be a good thing. Many pagans talk about reincarnation and it appears that many believe we are reborn. Others (and often the same folks who talk about reincarnation) talk about Summerland, or the Otherworld. There is not much description of Otherworld (the term I like). For all I know, this lifetime is all there is and there ain’t no more. I kind of like the imagery from the film Gladiator that has family waiting for you on the other side. I don’t have much family, but maybe there would be those I don’t expect to see.

I don’t wonder that the terrorists can be stirred up to a point at which they are willing to kill. Before I quit drinking I was angry and depressed enough to spend hours obsessing about getting back at those who had done me wrong. I think I was becoming a danger to others and myself. Since so much of my hatred was self directed it probably would have ended in suicide rather than homicide. Who knows? I am glad I did not have to find out.

However, it is interesting that some of these terrorists remain in their brutal mindset because of their belief in god. For me the opposite was the case. I remained in a brutal, hateful mindset until I was lifted from it by my faith in the Goddess. I could not leave that way of thinking on my own, I needed help to do that.

I’m going to stop here. I’m not sure where I am going with this, my mind is tired and wants to wander off on endless tangents. It is the start of a new workweek and work is depressing and overwhelming at times, so I think I will use the extra time before I leave for meditation. I could use it.

Good Morning Great Mother, my name is Andy and I am one of Your alcoholic children. I have not had to take a drink since Imbolc 2001 and that is by Your grace and Your grace alone. I’d like to take this moment to thank You, my Higher Power for this, my daily reprieve. Today is a good day to be sober.

Please, Goddess Brigit, be with me today, all through the day and help me to stay sober all day long. Show me Your will for me and grant me the power to carry that out. Thy will, not mine be done! Inspire me to act and create in Your name. Be welcome in me and to me, body, heart, mind and soul.

I am so grateful to have You in my life today.

Adjuva Brigitta! Thank You! Blessed Be!