Monday, June 20, 2005

Join Operation Yellow Elephant!

Our country needs our help! Right now in Iraq our soldiers are fighting the insurgency with great bravery and fortitude. According to Vice-President Dick Cheney the insurgency is in its last throes so the end is near. But our soldiers over there are stretched thin, they don't have the forces needed to seal the deal, put the nail in the coffin, however you want to phrase it-end the insurgency.

That is why a great patriotic leader, General J.C. Christian, Patriot (aka Jesus' General) has sounded the alert and calls upon us all to do our duty to our nation. The General is counting on all of us to help with Operation Yellow Elephant! The goal is simple: find a college Republican who supported the war in Iraq and help him enlist in the infantry. They supported the war; they will be glad to put their boots on the ground in Iraq. After all, think of all the fun these young folks are missing! So help liven up their summer vacation by adding a quick, 18 month trip, to Iraq to their plans.

I'm sure these young patriots will leap at the chance to be of service to their country. Certainly they wouldn't want to send someone else's child in their place. You can imagine how fine they will look in their uniforms!

Of course, the question comes up: what have I, Andy, done for the war? Well, first of all I didn't support the war. But setting that aside I want to assure you all that I am willing to do exactly as much as conservative commentator Jonah Goldberg will do to support the war:
As for why my sorry ass isn't in the kill zone, lots of people think this is a searingly pertinent question. No answer I could give -- I'm 35 years old, my family couldn't afford the lost income, I have a baby daughter, my ass is, er, sorry, are a few -- ever seem to suffice.
-- Jonah Goldberg

See? They wouldn't put parents in the kill zone, would they?

  • Specialist Lyle Rymer the second of Roland was killed last Friday by a sniper as he helped secure an area in Baghdad for the Iraqi elections. He's survived by his wife LaTisha, 3-year-old son Sean and 10-month-old daughter Jasmine.
  • Sergeant Andrew Farrar Jr., a Weymouth native, was killed in Iraq Friday, when he was electrocuted by a live wire during a night raid. It was his 31st birthday. On his second tour of duty, he was scheduled to come home in three weeks. [...] "He was a deeply loving family man," Farrar said, and spent as much time as he could with his wife Melissa, and two sons, Tyler, 6, and Liam, 2.
  • Naval Reserve Lt. Cmdr. Keith Edward Taylor, 47, was among those killed last weekend in a rocket attack on the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad. Taylor had five weeks left on a six-month deployment and is survived by a wife and three young daughters.
  • Kimble, 30, a 13-year Marine veteran, was among the 31 troops who died when the CH-53E Super Stallion they were in went down near Ar Rutbah, about 200 miles west of Baghdad.[...]Over the weekend, family members gathered once again at the Kimbles' home, in a quiet neighborhood just north of Temecula. This time it was to comfort his wife, Dawanna, and the couple's four young children after the family received news last week that Dexter Kimble had been killed Jan. 26 when his helicopter crashed in Iraq.
  • Flight Lt. Paul Pardoel, 35, a father of three from Victoria state who had joint British and Australian citizenship, died Sunday when the Hercules C-130 cargo plane crashed 18 miles northwest of Baghdad. [...] Pardoel his wife and young son and daughters had been living in England for the past three years.
  • Mack, 36, was killed Jan. 13 in Mosul when he was hit by shrapnel from a roadside bomb. He was standing in a hatch of his Stryker armored vehicle, officials said.[...]Mack’s widow, Lisa, and their daughter Ashley, 17, held one another tight and cried together throughout the ceremony at the main post chapel. The family is from DuPont. “I know how much he loved you and cared about you,” Decker told them. “He talked about you often.”
  • As the plane taxied near the hangar at about 12:45 p.m., some family members closed their eyes. Others sobbed silently. As the tail of the plane came into sight, Tiffiny Comeaux, wife of Sgt. 1st Class Kurt Comeaux, began shaking uncontrollably, pulling her son toward her.[...]Comeaux's casket was the first to be carried down the ramp. As the soldiers slowly stepped down the ramp, another one of his sons buried his face into his mother's chest. Comeaux, 34, died in Baghdad, Iraq when an improvised explosive device struck his Bradley fighting vehicle.
  • Army Staff Sgt. Steven H. Bridges, 33, among three Stryker brigade soldiers from Fort Lewis who died Monday in Iraq, was torn between staying home to care for his wife and four kids, and going to Iraq to care for his squad of soldiers, his wife said yesterday.
  • Staff Sgt. Todd D. Olson, 36, died Dec. 27 in the 67th Combat Support Hospital in Tikrit, Iraq, from wounds he received in Samarra on Dec. 26 when a improvised explosive device detonated, according to the U.S. Department of Defense. He was a member of Detachment 1, Company C, of the Wisconsin National Guard's 1st Battalion, 128th Infantry.[...]"The Loyal community took down all the Christmas decorations and put up all the flags," said Nancy Olson, Todd's wife. Among Todd's survivors are his parents, Donald and Shirley Olson of Loyal, and his four children, Trevor, 17, Jesse, 16, Cody, 13, and Kasey, 5.

    All of the above was taken from

  • Yeah, all the more reason to get some Yellow Elephants to the front lines.