Friday, March 11, 2005

Back to Sex

  • Here are all the rest of the series that I have. I think I got them from OSRM: This is not a work safe link! This is a site that usually features softcore/pinup porn and some pretty funny jokes. Oddly enough a post at that site changed how I thought about the Goddess and, no, I am not kidding. I may hunt for that post at some point. It would have been years ago that I downloaded them so I don't know what to tell you to look for if you are hunting for these. So many asked in emails, I decided to share all of them. Enjoy.

  • Time to stop talking about dead, dying and otherwise incapacitated cats and start talking about sex! Trivia question of the day: with me headed out of Dallas to Orlando during spring break for a trade show, should my wife Laura be concerned about me cheating on her?

    Just a couple of simple hints. First, we'll define cheating as being any behavior that would cause me to feel that I had done something inappropriate. For me, that could mean something as simple as holding hands too long when shaking hands with a woman. I know I am married and I have pretty strict right/wrong definitions. Second, this is a question anyone should be able to answer based on simply skimming a few blog entries.

    My answer is no, Laura doesn't need to worry about me cheating. And the reason is biological; based on the same drives that are going to causemy sperm count to skyrocket when I leave my mate for any length of time. Right now, with my wife nearing the end of her pregnancy, I am feeling a need to be home protecting her. The idea of going out of town now seems stupid and inappropriate. If anything happened to her while I was gone, I would go insane.

    I have a kind of tunnel vision going on right now. Everything is about making the den, er, home ready for the baby. That is what I want to be doing day in and day out. It nearly drove me nuts earlier this week when Babies'R'Us was out of the crib we wanted. This trip I think a totally nude dancer giving me a lap dance would probably cause me to ask her something like: Do you think the baby will need it's own cd player for lullaby's? I don't like the pink onsies. Yellow, yes, and that cool green, but no pink. She's my daughter and she doesn't need to be swamped with girlieness.

    What about four years from now? Should Laura worry then? Yes, she should. By that time the child will have started to walk on her own, speak and do things for herself. In a biological sense, I will be a lot less important to the family. We humans have what are called alticial infants; infants that need a tremendous amount of care in their early life. It is speculated this is why human females have a hidden estrus and remain sexually available to males at virtually all times; this is part of the incentive package for males to hang around and participate in raising the rug monkeys.

    The statistical rates of infidelity start to climb as the age of the child hits four years old and higher. There's no question that conscious choice is a huge part of this whole deal, but I find it fascinating that the choice seems so irrelevant to so many men during the first four years of a child's life and then suddenly it becomes relevant. The same is true to a lesser extent with females as well.

    Every day we make choices on what our behavior will be. If asked we cite our reasoning for the choices we make; sometimes it is very rational, sometimes very emotional. I have never had anyone tell me I did that because I instinctively felt like I should or well, biologically, it makes sense. Yet these hidden programs in our brain influence much of our behavior; from when we mate, to who we mate, to if we stay on a job or leave it and everything else.

    Right now instinct is telling me I will miss my flight, but Goddess, I do not want to go. I want to be working on the nursery and petting my cat Smokey. But I am off to do my job and talk with nude dancers about nursery decor. Talk at you soon!