Magick and Me

Imbolc 2004 central (working) altar

For a Witch I generally don’t do much magick. For one thing I did not choose this faith because it involved magick. I chose the Wiccan path because it embraced the concept of the divine feminine and endorsed the idea that the natural world was a part of the expression of the divine. I was actually quite content to leave it at that and not worry about magick at all.

When I began to get involved with other Pagans and Wiccans, I realized that I was in the minority there. For many of my friends on this path, magick was the reason they chose this path. I am guessing here, but it is my feeling that for some of them, magick gives them a sense of power in a world where they feel they are essentially powerless.

Initially I did not believe in magick at all really. And in many ways I still don’t. Some books on Wicca attempt to explain magick in terms of quantum theory from physics. In some ways, this is a very safe way to explain magick because nobody really understands quantum theory, not even the physicists who explore it. I have mixed feelings about using physics to explain magick. In part I am afraid that Wiccans look like idiots trying to explain our practices using advanced concepts that we really can’t articulate very well. On the other hand, though, when I read these physicists own words (as written for the layman, I would not have the ability to grasp the technical papers) I sometimes think, well, Hell, if that ain’t magick, what is?

I mean, when they describe how two related particles galaxies apart can have an undetermined spin, you observe that one has a certain specific spin and instantly, despite the distance, despite there being no exchange of information that we know of, the other particle develops the opposite spin . . . well, that sounds like magick to me. A couple of years ago I read that some scientists in Europe (I think they were at CERN, but I am not sure) teleported light from one place to another. In other words, they moved light from one location to another without losing the energy expressed as light or having that energy cross the intervening space. That’s magick, isn’t it?

Sometimes I think quantum mechanics, string theory, M theory—all of these are simply magick with the backing of mathematics to explain it.

I’m going to leave it at that, except to note that I am more comfortable with scientists like Hawking and Green’s explanations for how these things work than I am with Ravenwolf or Currott’s. I am at heart, a scientist.

I do believe in magick now. I think that the world is full of magick and we walk through the world, largely oblivious to what surrounds us. Looking up at the full moon I have seen a perfect halo. Sure, it’s water vapor droplets in the atmosphere that causes it, yet—that is magick. Have you ever seen an eagle fly? That is some powerful magick there.

But I don’t do much magick at all myself. I will participate with my coven when we try to raise energy, for example for a friend of ours who was diagnosed with cancer. Believe me, I did my best to raise healing energy to direct his way. I do practice grounding and centering and energy raising exercises, but again, that is to use with a group, not on my own.

The reason I do not try to used magick for myself is simple. Alcoholics Anonymous tells me the root of my problems is selfishness, self-centeredness. If I live in accordance with AA principals, the function of my life is to make myself fit to serve the Goddess and my fellow man. I read that selfish prayers do not work, and I can easily see why—they lead right into the poor me alcoholic mentality.

So I do not practice magick on my own because I do not think I am qualified to do so. I find it better to work with a group where together we discern a motive for the greater good to prompt magickal workings. It’s kind of like calling a sponsor before acting—I make sure my motives and thinking are right. So I am not a witch trying to change a red light to green, or to bring money my way.

What I have found is that the Goddess is an abundant Deity and She fills my life with all the magick I could ever need or want anyway. My challenge is not to practice casting spells, my challenge is to recognize the gifts that I have been given. Really I am not kidding. Magick happens to me all the time and I don’t even try. Little things like seeing a cardinal at the bird feeder. Big things like having a potential employer call me out of the blue. See, She knows what I need better than I do, so I try to step out of the way and let Her do Her thing.

And of course, there is the miracle; which is the gift of grace that keeps me sober one day at a time.

Dear Goddess Brigit, again I want to thank You for the life I have today. Without Your aid it would not be so and I know this. You gave my Your grace on Imbolc 2001 and every day since and I have not had to drink over anything since that time. I thank You, Great Lady. Today is a good day to be sober