Sex and Porn Part I

In my profile under interests I have listed porn. That is not there so much because I want to exchange mine with other aficionados. That is there because of my policy of using this as a forum where I can be painfully honest.

I think I have a porn problem.

I say that not so much because I need porn the way I needed alcohol. I can live without porn, it’s just that I would prefer not to. Rather, I think I have a problem in that porn affects how I think about women and how I think about sex. It would be a lie for me to insist I was unaffected by the things I am exposed to and I choose to expose myself to porn.

The concern with government regulation of porn can and should be disposed of first. As with most government regulations, I view the idea of having the government regulating or restricting access to porn with hostility. Content management is inappropriate for a governing body to decide. There are exceptions to this seeming absolute. All of these cases are based on consent issues. Briefly, if any person appearing in porn either cannot consent (under eighteen, drunk, retarded, mentally impaired, does not speak English) or does not consent, prosecution of the producers and distributors of such material should be swift and serious. No question about it.

Victims of the production of such material should be granted a pathway to recoup whatever profits were realized from such a crime and a way to access the assets of the producers and distributors of such material. The laws should be designed to favor the victim, perhaps a criminal conviction could be used to establish the absolute liability of the producers and distributors.

In my eyes, that is about the only regulation of porn I think acceptable. There, now we are done with the legal aspects, lets talk spiritual and psychological.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with porn itself per se. But I do think that porn can be and is harmful to people today, myself included. Some of my problems with porn come from the way I was raised, there was a lot of shame and guilt associated with anything sexual. What can I say? That’s how the Christians, particularly the Catholics do it. In fact, all three of the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) seem to have huge issues with sexuality and with women. I just don’t think their god is a very healthy god when it comes to sex and violence.

My current Wicca/Pagan faith has a completely different view of sex and I believe it to be a much, much healthier view. First of all, the Goddess is not separate from Her creation, She is a part of it. Therefore Her creation is sacred. We are a part of that creation and sex is a part of that creation. Therefore both we and sex are sacred, if we choose to treat ourselves and our sexuality as sacred. Wicca does not get hung up on the idea that sex is solely for procreation or that one of the two genders is there to be a passive receptacle for the other. This allows for the sacred to exist in gay and lesbian relationships, because gays and lesbians are sacred also. Gay and lesbian sex can be just as reverent and sacred as heterosexual sex. Women are full sexual beings in Wicca and are allowed and encouraged to enjoy and explore their sexuality.

These ideals are wonderful, the reality is that all the Wiccans I have met seem to have their own sexual baggage so they also have trouble internalizing and believing this. There are also predators attracted to the Wiccan ideals as an easy way to find people to victimize.

Hmmm. I seem to be finding a way to talk around my own problems with porn—I think I have discussed here just about every aspect of porn other than what I have issues with. Now I have run out of time. I think I am going to have to make myself stick to this topic until I am done with it, and that may take a couple of days.