Friday, July 30, 2004


I suspect that I am really shortchanging myself in my life.

What I mean is that I have not stretched myself far enough, pushed myself or challenged myself. If I want to be a writer, I have to get out there and sell myself as one. Sure it will be hard, everything worthwhile is.

Yesterday I sat watching the Democratic National Convention and when you see a man with no legs and one arm who ran for Senator and won . . . well, what you see is that the barriers we set up for ourselves are imaginary. There really are no boundaries.

If I really want to be a writer, I must bite the bullet and write. In many ways, that is the easy part. I love to write. When I am in the groove, when words are flowing, then writing is better than alcohol because it does the things alcohol used to do for me. Writing conquer my fears. Writing gives me courage. Writing, in many ways, is a sacred act.

In less than two full months of blogging I have written about 50,000 words. That is a miracle. That is novel length. That means that if I really set my mind to it, I can write my novel.

About a month ago I wrote, but did not post, this paragraph:
Probably my one regret is not pursuing the writing. The Goddess has gifted me with the ability to write well and I should be earning a living by writing. That is actually one purpose of this blog, to let me work on this skill, honing it, practicing it. I still hope to make it my craft someday. Recently the owner of the company I work for called me a WORDSMITH, which I think is possibly the greatest compliment I have ever received in my life.

I am not giving myself enough credit for my talent. I have not made the leap of faith that there is a net, even if I don’t see it. I have to believe it. I have not drawn upon the resource that is the Goddess. Even if I have limits, She does not.

It is interesting that I would be labeled WordSmith. The Goddess Brigit is the Goddess of poetry, healing and smithcraft. My talent, my gift is a combination of poetry and the art of crafting.

Maybe my purpose in life is to pull together the three aspects of the great Goddess I worship. That I should write with the intent in mind of combining craft and poetry for the purpose of healing.

Hmmmm. That is something to think about.

I am leaving the pet industry. Yesterday my wife asked my why and I told her that I had thought, years ago, that in entering the pet industry I would be working with people who, like me, loved animals and nature. I was wrong. The people I work with could give a damn if animals die from their products.

Believe me, I know this is true.

The only green they see as good is money.

It depresses and wears me down and I do not want to do that anymore. I will keep doing it for the time being, I have a mortgage and credit debt. But I am going to be looking.

I think though, that rather than submitting just resumes, maybe I should also start to submit articles.

Good Morning Goddess Brigit, my name is Andy and I am a drunk. You gave me the gift of sobriety on 2/2/01 and I thank You for that gift. I could not have stayed sober without You and I damn well know it. I am watching the sun rise in the East and I know that today is a good day to be sober.

Please, Awesome Lady, be with me today, all through the day and help me to stay sober all day long. I am doing NightWatch tonight Lady, manning the phones for AA. May I be of service to others. I thank you. Blessed Be.