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Monday, June 07, 2004

Personal, not politics

This is not why I wanted to start a blog. I wanted to start a blog so that I could talk about the things that are important to me. That does include politics and faith. My faith has made environmentalism fundamental to everything I do, and religious liberties come a close second. Even with that noted, politics was not central to what I was going for here.

I wanted to talk about a lot of the truly central ideas and struggles with my faith.

A few minutes ago the dogs were playing, and it sounded like a cat got caught it the middle of it. I started to lose my temper—there I was, in mid-prayer, and the damn dogs were interrupting me! And they were fighting with a cat! So, the man who was going to write about love and tolerance got up to beat the dogs.

That’s not what I want to be. I do not want to be an angry, fly off the handle guy. I don’t want to be the man of the house whom the other residents fear.

I remember at the end of my alcoholic drinking (Goddess willing I stay sober one day at a time), the fish in my large aquarium would swim to hide from me behind ornaments and decorations. There is something fundamentally wrong when your fish are frightened of you.

Right now, nothing in the house expresses fear when I enter the room. That’s the way I like it. Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote in one of his excellent books about how when he was young he admired the strong and the powerful, but as he aged he came to admire instead those who were kind. I’d like to earn his admiration.

Yet here I am, right now, angry with a puppy for playing rough!

Maybe I am not ready to be a parent after all.

Goddess, please let me serve you today. I’m going to need your help, I can sense it.

Thank You, Great Mother!
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